Did you know there is more than one language of love? It is said, all humans express and experience love in the same 5 ways. Physical touch, gifts, words of affirmation, acts of service and quality time, but every human has one that “matters the most”. It is very important in any relationship with someone you love, for example your child, to know how they best receive love. This can take your bond much further and can help minimize outbursts/meltdowns.
"You have to know how to communicate love to a child so that he/she genuinely feels loved.” says Dr. Chapman (writer of The 5 Love Languages of Children). This by all means does not mean that you only speak in your child's preferred love language, every child needs to experience all love languages, but it will help them feel as special as they are to you!
For help finding your child's preferred love language you can simply ask! Yes it can be just that simple. Children typically will be honest when asked in a more “child-friendly” way. For example: What makes you feel special? Or give them a list of “options” from every language and ask them to put them in order of best. A child that is always asking to help you with something? Their preferred language might be Act of Service. These kiddos may appreciate it when receiving help themselves. Have a child that loves to bring you all kinds of tiny treasures? "Gifts" might be their language. Simple gifts like a leaf or small pebble that makes you think of them can make them feel incredibly loved.
Children who need Words of Affirmation are shown they are loved best by hearing you “notice” them. Example: “I see you are working hard” or “You are so important to me”. Hugs, lap sitting, hand holding or cuddling? Physical Touch! Go out of your way to give them a little extra and it will brighten their day. Always wanting you to play dinos or dolls? This kiddo language might be Quality Time. Get on the floor, and become part of their world.
As Valentine's Day is popping up in every aisle, just remember, gifts may not be the only way to a child’s heart. As this year progresses please remember that in order to keep a relationship "top notch", you must work at it every day of the year! Remember to be kind.